Monday, October 10, 2011

Day 9&10 - Sunday, October 9 & Monday, October 10, 2011 - A False Sense of Security

Yesterday was Sunday.  It was wonderful to be back with my church family.  Since having our 3rd baby, it's been hit and miss on Sunday mornings.  I finally feel like our family is in more of a routine and it makes me feel happy.  Another thing that makes me feel happy is my brand new planner.  Recently I ordered a month-at-a-glance calendar that can also be used as a notebook and doodle pad.  The best part about it is that it came with...y'all aren't going to believe this....seriously, so cool....ya ready to know?  Wait for it...STICKERS!  There are stickers for hair appointments, dentist and doctor appointments, manis and pedis, birthday parties, and so many more.  I special ordered this planner so that the cover would include our family name.  You have no idea how my heart filled with joy when I saw our family's last name printed on the cover with the cutest design you've ever seen.  Having this planner made me feel happy, organized, secure.

Stay with me, here, and walk with me through this crazy train of thought.  Having a brand new planner (and an organized pantry) make me feel secure.  If my life feels in order then I feel secure.  I know in my head that it is a false sense of security, but that doesn't really matter to me.  My heart almost skips a beat each time I lay my eyes on that new (and most adorable) planner.  Can you imagine what I would do if I had a label gun?!  Oh Lord Almighty!  Don't give me a label gun!!!  I thought recently that if a brand new planner gives me a silly false sense of security, then what else do I let give me false senses of security or false anything... just fill in the blank.  We do this so often as humans.  We place our security, our sense of worthiness, our dependency on an object, person, and/or relationship.  I've done this so many times in my life.  And I want so desperately to put all of my trust, all of my dependency in the One who is the only Source of Strength and Dignity.  Jesus.  Jesus is IT.  He is where to go for validation, self-worth, security, and most importantly... love.

What about you?  Anybody else out there love the feeling that comes with being organized?  Don't even get me started on brand new school supplies.  Oh my!  The smell of new pencils, the smell of the markers, the sound of flipping through a brand new notebook.  Hallelujah, y'all.  This is living!  ;)  Lord, help me!!

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