Monday, March 12, 2012

When Enough Becomes Enough

In the morning she wakes up, pours the first anticipated cup of coffee, showers, puts her make-up on, fixes her hair, dresses, and takes one quick glance in the mirror before heading off to start her day.  Before she steps away, she takes a few extra seconds to stare at the image in the mirror.  In less than a second, she hates what she sees - the wrinkles, the extra weight, the pale skin.  She wonders how her husband would have any interest left in his heart for her.  He tells her everyday how beautiful she is.  She's thankful for that and wants to believe it for herself, but it's much easier to self-loathe.  She takes a few more moments as she stares in the mirror to offer up a few more critical words in her mind.  "If only you'd lose a few more pounds," she thinks.  "If only you didn't have those stretch marks," she tells herself.  "If only your skin was clear," she tortures herself. 

As she walks out the door and begins her day, her Father lets out a heavy sigh.  He watches her go about her day.  He hears her thoughts of self-hatred and wonders how it came to this.  As she completes each task of the day, she goes between hating what she sees in the mirror and hating what she perceives to be true of her inner being, as well.  The place where she once asked her Father to take up residence is the place she is most critical.  She ridicules her personality.  She over-analyzes every word she has said.  She thinks, "No wonder you have no friends."  She convincingly says, "You'll never be liked."  She believes, "You are replaceable."

And THAT becomes the last straw.  Her Father speaks up.  He no longer can just sit back and watch.  He takes His place of glory in her heart and with force says, "That is enough."  She folds in defeat.  She looks up at Him and He motions her over.  She climbs in His lap and as she lays back against His chest, He speaks.  Gently He says, "For I created your inmost being.  I knit you together in your mother's womb. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.  I love you."  As the tears roll down her cheek, she is grateful for the reminder.  In the silence, she is comforted by her Father's presence.  She breathes a sigh of relief.  In her heart, she waves her white flag and asks her Father to fight for her.  He comes to her aid just like all the times before.  But this time is different.

She realizes something.  She IS fearfully and wonderfully made because she was made in His image.  What took place in the spiritual realm as her Father so cleverly wove her together in the depths of the earth was no mistake, no coincidence.  Her eyes are opened and she begins to see.  She trusts what He promises - that all of the days ordained for her were written in His book before one of them came to be.  She begins to live again believing that her future is filled with promise and purpose because THAT is what her Father has promised.  She decides enough IS enough.  She creates a plan and develops a defense mechanism holy in nature.  When the waves of defeat threaten to take her under she remembers her Father's promise.  And with that, she lives.  With that, her purpose is revealed.  With that, her destiny becomes a reality.  With her, her Father is pleased.

"If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." Psalm 139:9-10


  1. You ARE incredibly beautiful from the inside out! Love you to the ends of the earth and back.

  2. we just went over this in a women's group i am a part of. about being self critical. the Holy Spirit showed us the analogy of throwing stones at ourselves and how we don't have the right to stone ourselves. Also, a while ago i was taking a study called the frazzled female, and i believe this is where this concept stuck with me, and i learned that if God lives in us and we say negative things about ourselves then we are saying negatives things about God. Also, if someone compliments us, we should graciously accept it because it is a compliment of God within us. that really helped my perspective in the self loathing department.