Tuesday, January 25, 2011

This Daddy's NOT Leaving

When I was a little girl, my parents' marriage was on the rocks.  To be honest, it stayed on the rocks all the way until my dad left for good just a little over 5 years ago.  But at this particular time, when I was just 11-years-old, their marriage had hit an all-time low.  My mother was on her way home from being out of town.  I had been outside riding my bike, and when I came inside, I noticed my dad was packing a suitcase.  I asked him where he was going and he told me, "I'm leaving."  It took him telling me that a few more times for me to understand what he meant by leaving.  My grief was overwhelming.  The tears fell as hard as they had ever fallen.  I begged him to stay.  But as my mother pulled in the driveway from her trip, my dad met her outside, announced his decision to her, and piled his suitcase and other belongings in the trunk of his car.  I remember standing there watching him outside the window as he drove away.  Even as I type this to you, the feelings are still there, as strong as they were on the day he left.  I still feel a lump in my throat each time I travel down this memory's lane.  Watching him drive away in that car was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.  And the pain that goes with that visual reminder is as strong and deep as it was so many years ago.

It was just a few years back when I was having my quiet time that I stumbled across a verse in John (as if Jesus just causes us to stumble across His Word.  Right.)  The verse from John 6:37 said, "All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away."  Did you catch those last two words?  Drive away.  The words in my Bible are in red which tells me these were the audible words of God's Son, Himself, and I totally realize that Jesus wasn't talking about getting in a car and literally driving away.  In fact, His meaning was quite different.  He was telling others in the passage that if you come to me, I will never leave you.  I knew that was the original meaning behind His words in this particular Scripture, but the phrase, "drive away," stopped me in my tracks.

When a daddy leaves his little girl, no matter when in life or how many times, I believe it instills an incredible fear of abandonment.  I mean, if the one man in a girl's life whom she is supposed to trust with her life and love leaves her, what is going to make her think other men in her life won't leave her?  Those "other" men can easily include the Heavenly Father in her life, as well.  For many years, I thought I had to earn my God's love and when I failed Him, which was a lot, it was like taking several steps back.  I had to almost start over again in earning back His love.  Rest assured that I do NOT feel that way anymore.  He and I have had our issues to work out, but one thing is for certain.  I know He loves me.  And I know He will never leave me.  This Daddy's not going anywhere. 

And it was in reading John 6:37 that I was reminded of that once again.  My Jesus loves me more than anyone will ever love me.  I never have to live my life in fear that a day will come when He, my Abba, decides He's had enough of me.  I know He will never drive away and leave me crying at the window.  If you fear abandonment...if you fear being left by your spouse...if you fear you will never earn your Heavenly Father's love or approval, I am here to tell you something life-changing.  There is nothing...did you hear me...NOTHING...that you can do that will cause your God to leave you.  That is why He sent His Son so that we could live with a guarantee that His love never fades.  NEVER.  And to prove that to you, He died on a cross and then rose from the dead to show you He meant business.  He wants you!  He wants you FOREVER!  Go to Him.  Tell Him your fears.  Tell Him your insecurities.  And then bask in the overwhelming promise that He gives you in John 6:37.  "All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I WILL NEVER DRIVE AWAY."



  1. Lindsey...this is AMAZING...thank you SO much for writing this...I am here in tears reading it...what HOPE, ENCOURAGEMENT, CLARITY this gives...you are blessed with the gift of teaching and writing from the heart...please keep it going!!! LOVE IT!!!!!

  2. This is really GOOD stuff sweet sister!

  3. Thanks for your word of encouragement, my sweet sister! We need to get together soon. Love you! Gina

  4. Amen and Amen and Amen, My Sweet Fo-Real Sister! Keep the writing up! I am digging it. LOVE YOU!

  5. Well old friend, now you are getting an email from me! :) so glad you are blogging now. I'm thankful for this giant peek I'm going to get in your life now. It seems like yesterday we were squished on that couch watching Boogedy and eating pink pals gum. I'm sad that I didn't keep in better touch with you.
    Miss you friend...keep up the blogging. :)