Tuesday, April 14, 2015

I Hate Myself

What kind of "feeler" are you?  Ok, I just lost all of my male readers with that question right there. 

(That's ok.  I think I just had one male reader anyway...Hi, husband!) 


Do you feel deeply?  Or do you kind of keep everything on the surface?

The reason I ask is because I am a deep feeler...like...real deep...way down low deep.  Anyone?

And this can create a problem for me sometimes.  Anyone?

If I get tickled...I laugh loudly.  If I get sad...I cry intensely.  If I get mad...well, you get the picture.

And I can really hate myself for feeling so much.  Anyone?

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
Psalm 139:13-14

Ever wonder why we wrestle so much with unhappiness?  Especially when it comes to ourselves?  I've realized we will never truly be content while here on this planet because this place, this place we call Earth, is not our home.  Our enemy, the Impostor I like to call him, spends a lot of time trying to convince us of our unhappiness, of our discontentment in ourselves so that we will waste our time being miserable here on this planet and miss...so that we will MISS (did you catch that?) our purpose, our reason for being created for such a time as this.  He knows our time on Earth is temporary and he also knows this is not our home.  He happens to know how the story ends.  So if we will become distracted with unhappiness, discontentment, sadness, anger, fill in your blank here, he knows we will waste our time on this planet and ultimately walk away from our God-ordained purpose out of fear of rejection, insecurity, and/or unworthiness.

Because I feel everything...remember, I'm a deep "feeler," you can only imagine how much fun my Impostor tends to have with me.  All day long I fight thoughts like...

You'll never be effective.  You're too loud, you're too bossy, you're too dumb, you're too southern, you're too ugly, you're NOT sweet-natured.

Life can be lonely, too...so my enemy goes wild when it comes to friendship...

No one wants to be your friend.  You'll never have friends.  Who would want to be your friend?  The friends you do have eventually will hurt you anyway.  Trust no one.


The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.  I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. 
John 10:10

You were made for greatness.  You were not meant to be silent.  You were not meant to cower in the corner or to resent your personality.  God created you on purpose and with purpose.  Stand up, head tall, and chin up.  You are a child of God.  Why would you let the enemy of God dictate your feelings and tell you who you are?  Let the ONE who made you be the judge of that!

Rise up!  You've got work to do!

...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Philippians 1:6 

One day, we get to go home and into the arms of Jesus we'll be safe and perfect.  Complete.


  1. Love this. Thanks for sharing and for the reminder that we ALL have a purpose.

  2. You are one LOVED woman! And I absolutely adore you. Keep RISING up!