So, I would like to make some general statements about the female race. I get to do this simply because I am a female. I bring some experience to the table, and because God has called me to raise a female of my own, these issues apply to me, effect me, and probably you, as well. Of course, I realize that if you are, in fact, a female, these general statements may or may not apply to you. I get that. I get that you might be the exception to the rule. With that in mind, I say...good for you. Trust me, if these things I'm about to mention don't apply to you...be relieved. Be ever-so grateful.
If you are a female, you have/you are/you will experience jealousy. No one is exempt from this potential feeling. In fact, jealousy is so prevalent among women today, that it has completely robbed us from becoming who God intended us to be from the moment our lives were spoken into existence. It has robbed us of our security and of our friendships. Because of jealousy and comparing ourselves to others, we have become something the Lord never intended us to be. We are forever in a constant state of comparison. This fact, alone, is rooted deep in jealousy, selfishness and pride. We compare homes, bodies, hair color, jobs, the way we parent, how we dress, and yes, even how involved we are in Sunday School and church. Another woman's shortcomings feel like small victories in our minds. Another woman's victories feel like setbacks in our lives. Say what you will...but you know this, for the most part, is our sick reality.
God forbid we actually be happy for each other. How crazy it is to think that we could celebrate life right alongside one another. Sure, we may do this with certain women in our lives...maybe our mothers, maybe our sisters, maybe even a close childhood friend. But we can not say this is true for all of the women we know in our lives. Technology hasn't helped. Now we have Facebook and Instagram to add to our bag of measuring sticks...
She has more friends than me on Facebook. Everybody just loves her. (eye roll)
Her kids are cuter than mine.
She dresses so cute...look how skinny she is...I bet she has an eating disorder.
Her picture has more "likes" than mine.
She has more followers than me.
Gah, she's such a good writer. I guess I would be, too, if I was a stay-at-home mom and had all day to read blogs and play on the computer.
Do you see the insanity? Go ahead, tell me I'm crazy. Try to convince me that I am the only one who struggles with this. And I will call you a straight up liar. (grin)
We know these are our issues. We're just not willing to own them. We read books on insecurity, a purpose-filled life, and becoming confident women. Women keep writing these books because women keep struggling with these issues. What if we decided to simply call a spade a spade? What if we started taking literal what God's Word says about jealousy...
For jealousy and selfishness are not God's kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. -James 3:15-16 (NLT)
Truth is, I'm thankful for those brave female authors who have been willing to open their hearts to the entire world, to put it out there for us to see and deal with. Perhaps their hope is the same as mine. They, too, have had enough. And they have never been more eager to see daughters of the King starting to rise up and take their place in the Kingdom of Christ.
What will it take? What can we do? Is it possible to overcome this TOGETHER? To finally decide to lock arms, to build each other up, to encourage one another in our walks with the Lord, to listen and understand our struggles, to quit comparing, and to stop the maddening jealousy? It has become like cancer. It has taken over our hearts, our souls, our lives. We have let it cripple us. And if we are not careful, it will do the same thing to our daughters. That, my friends, is the wicked beauty of sin.
Here's my heart...
I am only human. I make mistakes. I fail everyday at something. I hate the mother and the wife I am some days. I hate what jealousy, comparing, selfishness, and self-loathing is doing to my spirit. I don't want to get to the end of my life and have missed all the blessings that could have come from cherished and beloved friendships with my sisters in Christ. Enough IS enough...
God has had it with the proud, but takes delight in just plain people. So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you. -1 Peter 5:5-7 (The Message)
Whew! I'm exhausted!