Sometimes, I want to gather all of my loved ones and climb under a rock. Tucked away safe and sound from the world. Gathered around the ones I love the most. This is how I get sometimes. I've learned to correlate these feelings with those times my insecurities are at their strongest capacity.
I wonder if anyone else does this...
When critical words come my way, I shut people out. Even people who have done no wrong. When an unkind word is spoken, I retaliate. This has brought much pain in my life as I've lost relationships over this. When I sense a spirit of rejection, I'll quickly push the other person out of my life before he or she has the chance to hurt me. This hasn't helped my friendships, as you can imagine. Sometimes my sense of rejection is completely imaginary.
Recently, I've learned that most of these "feelings" are just that...feelings. Almost always, these "feelings" are deeply rooted in personal insecurities I've been carrying around since childhood.
And then I am reminded of the One who made me. The One who says I belong to Him. Here's the truth...Jesus loves me this I know. For the Bible tells me so. And since I believe this to be true. And since I have chosen to follow Christ with my life. I have to wonder...
What if Jesus would have done what I tend to want to do when this world gets a little too loud? What if He would have climbed under a rock with His loved ones until the storm passed? What if He would have pushed relationships out of His life before they had the chance to hurt Him? What if He would have retaliated when others were so brutally unkind to Him?
Thankfully, He didn't and the entire world owes Him a great deal of gratitude for that. But that's not what He requires of us. He doesn't need our thanks although He deserves it. I believe He wants us to simply...
Seek justice. Despite the risks.
Love mercy. Despite the risks.
Walk with Him each day. Despite the risks.
I think I'll try that. After all, He risked everything for me.
No, O people, the LORD has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8 (NLT)
It's almost like you wrote this about me. Thank you for sharing this. There is no telling how many more of us are out here throwing those walls up. I'll do my best to do what I should be doing, and take those risks.
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